Post number 3. The monster

At the same time, the idea of making the monster in 3D still appealed to me. I asked one of the girls from my year (Maisie Henderson Ridley, great artist by the way), who mainly does installation and sculpture to help me out. The first idea was very simple. We were going to get some chicken wire, create some kind of frame and them, put something on it. What? I didn’t really know. With this in mind we went to the metal workshop, where the technician (who is just wonderful) "moulded" my idea into something much stronger. In the end I did (or rather he did and I gave ideas) a 3d image of my monster, a little bigger than me, (I’m 160 cm) I can fit inside.



When I looked at the structure, I was impressed and surprised. It’s a bit strange to see something that only existed in your mind as a mirror image. The monster had always been a metaphorical image of me in my dark times. To see it face to face was nice, scary, big, troublesome, liberating and many other things that I’m still working on.
After that I had a tutorial with the head of the school, who works with 3D (I’m not saying sculpture, installation or something like that because I’m not sure any more of the definition or limits of the words.)

I wanted to cover it, but I had a limited budget, and at the same time, limited time, plus no experience in doing 3d work. What she suggested, after thinking of various alternatives, was to tie pieces of bin bags, (black trash bags), which were cut in small rectangles to the structure, which was mainly chicken wire, and then melting them with a heat gun. (Which I will describe an industrial "hair dryer".)

It took a long time to make, and help, lots of help from my friends.
Now a space for personal insight, without a support group I doubt I would have gotten things done. Having people cheer for you, and help you, and be there unconditionally is a big help, it keeps you going, it helps you believe in yourself and in your work. I also appreciate how they don’t bullshit me.

During the time I spent doing the monster, I left the painting aside, this gave me the perfect opportunity to give myself a mental break. I moved to a different space, on the first floor of the building, to make the monster, and there with a kettle, tea and biscuits I worked on it. I found out that having nice things around you, like the tea, really help you move on. You want to move into the space because it’s nice to be there.