Post number 5. In the meantime.

Thats where my work is right now. I like it and the comments Ive had from the staff so far are good. But, in relation to the name of this chain of posts, people will see what its there, but no one sees the blunders, the turns, the changes of mind, the process..which I find the most important part of the work. I wonder if thats what you take, you put your work there, what you keep are the blunders.
Pictures of the final show after the opening.
In the meantime:

Master of Fine Arts, Summer Show 2010

Here are some images from the summer show, thank you to everyone who went, and all comments are welcome. Pictures by Sherezade García Rangel





Post number 4. Getting back at it and writting.

After that I went back to the room and kept working on the wall painting. Things still didn’t work... and that wasn’t really the problem, the problem was how to fix it. I had more tutorials, (again, one of the most important was with the head of school, I really like her, she doesn’t bs you, calls you on your own bs and then, helps you out) thought about more things and finally...I decided to move away from my usual painting methods. I made a plan, and experimented again, on how to make it work.

At the same time, we had to write an exhibition proposal, (basically how you were planning on showing your work in the space you had.) I had never done this, and this was what I wrote, I’m still not sure its what they asked for..but well, the examples we had were not really that good ..I think .
Here it is:

"EXHIBITION PROPOSAL SUMMER SHOW 2010. Diana Afanador.

At the beginning my work was bound by paper. I used its boundaries to give an idea of the lack of them. In my practice I use shapes and through an intuitive process they have become a reflection of living beings and human presences. As I started to work within the space in which I’m going to show the possibilities were broadened.

The shapes move outside the constringent of the paper. As a result of feedback I found that while at the beginning (on paper) I broke the borders of the shapes and created a coloured background, as I moved to the walls these borders had to become strong and definite once again and the walls remained white and clean.

At the same time, there was a need for the human presences to be stronger and I moved them outside the 2D boundaries into a sculptural proposal, which has become a key element in the exhibition as it encourages the viewer to circulate around it and it's shadow, to explore the space.

The work reflects a process related to the place where it’s shown. Consisting on wall and sculptural pieces it aims to create an environment that can be viewed as well as wandered in.

On the walls I use water-based materials to achieve movement, fluidity and transparency. I’m interested in layers, and so I work with overlapping found images with my own. These give me the balance between geometry in the shapes and an organic presence. It is achieved through mechanical and hand made processes like screen-printing and drawings on the wall surface.

The material used in the sculptural piece was selected both for its aesthetic qualities and direct relation with human disposed objects. Bin bags are made to contain things that are going to be left behind.

It is developed while having in mind work that interacts with the space and contemporary installation possibilities that foster a complete experience, an encounter with the work. I’m also interested in work that uses a motif or that creates the option of an imaginary, metaphorical, parallel reality or work that has a very distinctive relation to the life of the artist. I have been influenced by the work of artists like Olafur Eliasson, Charles Avery, Yayoi Kusama, Beatriz Gonzalez, Manuel Hernández and Ana Mendieta. "

Post number 3. The monster

At the same time, the idea of making the monster in 3D still appealed to me. I asked one of the girls from my year (Maisie Henderson Ridley, great artist by the way), who mainly does installation and sculpture to help me out. The first idea was very simple. We were going to get some chicken wire, create some kind of frame and them, put something on it. What? I didn’t really know. With this in mind we went to the metal workshop, where the technician (who is just wonderful) "moulded" my idea into something much stronger. In the end I did (or rather he did and I gave ideas) a 3d image of my monster, a little bigger than me, (I’m 160 cm) I can fit inside.



When I looked at the structure, I was impressed and surprised. It’s a bit strange to see something that only existed in your mind as a mirror image. The monster had always been a metaphorical image of me in my dark times. To see it face to face was nice, scary, big, troublesome, liberating and many other things that I’m still working on.
After that I had a tutorial with the head of the school, who works with 3D (I’m not saying sculpture, installation or something like that because I’m not sure any more of the definition or limits of the words.)

I wanted to cover it, but I had a limited budget, and at the same time, limited time, plus no experience in doing 3d work. What she suggested, after thinking of various alternatives, was to tie pieces of bin bags, (black trash bags), which were cut in small rectangles to the structure, which was mainly chicken wire, and then melting them with a heat gun. (Which I will describe an industrial "hair dryer".)

It took a long time to make, and help, lots of help from my friends.
Now a space for personal insight, without a support group I doubt I would have gotten things done. Having people cheer for you, and help you, and be there unconditionally is a big help, it keeps you going, it helps you believe in yourself and in your work. I also appreciate how they don’t bullshit me.

During the time I spent doing the monster, I left the painting aside, this gave me the perfect opportunity to give myself a mental break. I moved to a different space, on the first floor of the building, to make the monster, and there with a kettle, tea and biscuits I worked on it. I found out that having nice things around you, like the tea, really help you move on. You want to move into the space because it’s nice to be there.

Post number 2. Moving on.

After that, and I had a lot of tutorials, every person I had a tutorial with had a different perspective. I liked that; it’s like finding out a different thing about your work every time. I really appreciated the ones that were hard. The ones who were not about to say nice things so that you wont feel sad, or bad or whatever. The truth of the matter is, for me, that when people say things to you, things that aren’t working, then you can work on them. On the other hand, if everything is good, then, well, good, but I rather save the nice comments for the opening night.

What I did like though was that I was encouraged to work outside the paper, grow into the room. Now, for me, this is no easy thing to do. As I mentioned before, the space seemed huge to me, and I think that I really couldn’t get my head around it for a long time. I didn’t have a plan to start with and I just tried to manage it as a paper, a huge white paper. Now this has a lot of problems, first because a room is not a paper. It’s 3d and the paper is 2d. I know this sounds obvious, but really, it’s not. Creating a composition in a room is nowhere near the same as it is on paper.

The walls don’t work the same as paper when receiving colour. I know, again, it should be obvious, and I think it is, but at the same time I can say that my first attempt was to try to make them work as paper. (Because I was trying to use the room as I would my paper).



It was a good learning curve on many levels: composition, materials, time, etc. Needless to say it didn’t really work..though I really kept at it and tried many times. It seemed as if I hadn’t done it on purpose, but rather blundered into it. Which in retrospect, was what I was doing.

No one sees the blunders. The Beginning

POST NUMBER 1.

After leaving this post online for a long time I’ve decided to edit it. There was too much content in one post and then Id like it to be a little more clear and to add a conclusion.. or at least try to. I will leave it as I wrote it, minus spelling mistakes and maybe a couple of added information. Here goes, post number 1.

Next Friday, we have the upcoming Summer Show, for the graduates of the Master of Fine Arts at Newcastle University. Of course, as a first year (first year of a two years master), I’m only an interim artist and as told by some of the teachers, this is the year to experiment and try things I haven’t tried before. So very well, I said, lets try. First I choose a space that is HUGE, ok, it’s not the Tate’s Unilever space, but for a student it’s more than big. When I asked for the room it was full of undergraduates and tables, it didn’t seem so big and it has nice natural light. When I saw it empty, I was scared, big time.

I decided to move into it and let it grow on me. I continued to do my work in there as I had been doing in my little space, "small" paintings on watercolour paper. Trying different compositions and fighting to achieve colour richness; an achievement yet to happen in a real professional level.



I then started to put these paintings on the wall, as a critique was coming my way I needed all the feedback I could muster. I wanted to put everything there and wait to see what people had to say, which was a lot. One of the comments that struck me most was made by one of the second years (of the master). He said that my space looked like a giant sketchbook. Which it did at the time, though of course I hadn’t seen it. It takes me time to come to see things in my own work. I think it’s the same for most people.

Other than that, many of the things I heard were things like, it looks like your having fun painting and go for it. Go for it? (Meaning my monster, go for it, make it 3D.) It has taken me a long time to "go for it". Most of the time of this year has been spent on me learning how to do that. Doubt less, do more. It’s scary but it works. On that day we had to show our artist statement, which Shere helped me with. (Ok it was a LOT of help...I’m an artist, writing is hard for me). Here it is, I think it’s worth sharing.

Diana Afanador.

" In my work I portray organic shapes and presences that grow inside and outside the space of the paper. It started as a response to emotions, and through an intuitive process, it has become a reflection of living beings. This is achieved with organic shapes, the use of colour, biological elements and human presences. The shapes have changed, reproduced and grown, sometimes leaving a trace behind them, shifting and permeating the space.

As I understand the shapes as an expanding, growing element in my work, I began to associate them to biological elements. I work with the images of neurons; they appeal to me because of their function within the nervous system, their different patterns and the possibilities they offered as the image themself. Later, I added an image from the immunological part of a cell to convey the protective needs of living beings.
I use watercolours to achieve movement, fluidity and transparency. I’m interested in layers, and so I work with overlapping found images on the paintings. This is done through mechanical processes like screen-printing, and the prints are made either on top of the paper or are pasted later on.

I’m interested in the affiliation between a contained image, the area around it and the way these two elements interact. As the shapes leave their boundaries and invade the space, evolving, as would a living being, they create a dialogue between these two elements."

I later took out the neuron explanation, (after the critique) since people insisted that I needed no other reason to like the neurons, but for their shape and composition possibilities. I still have some "mental problems" with this. I always think everything has to have an explanation. I have come to find, though that the "explanation" is something quite...personal. I mean, of course, you have to have reasons for why you do your work, in a certain way, the use of colours, techniques, etc. But, if I’m interested in a shape, is as valid as a reason as all the biological explanation. I like my artist statement, it’s very to the point and it explains most of my current work, even though it has moved from its first proposal.

what does everything mean?

I had a tutorial last week and since then I’ve tried to simmer down what it was that she said. I think that mainly she referred to the things that she saw fresh, she asked if I had any problems with the decorative, and sometimes I do, at least in my head. She did say that I shouldn't leave any space for doubt when talking about my work. Something along the lines of yeah, its decorative, so what?
On the other hand she asked what I wanted my paintings to do. What is it that I want them to do to the public that comes and sees them? I stopped right there, with many explanations but short of one word to define that. I guess I need to define that word, fast, but it’s hard for me to simmer it one to one word.
On the other hand, I have discussing with Shere the whole "Colombian Artist". Believe it or not, it is a very important thing to talk about, or at least, to define for myself. Is my being Colombian a part of my work? At least it is in the colours that I choose. To be truthful those are the only colours I feel happy with. Strong, bright, colours. I don’t want to paint in greys; my life is anything but grey.
I guess it’s important for every artist to define or at least be aware of how their national identity affects their work. What does it all mean?
On another note, I have been working on my monster. Mainly helping Burnie (hope thats how you write it) build it, I can't weld, and many other things, so hes helping me out, a lot. The first monster I created in 3d was made out of clay; it’s like a little pet/baby for me. Now I’m doing a very big one, my size, I can actually fit it in there. I think it’s an important step. Also something else to think about.

The path of the Bard

'The sea doesn't want to make waves.
The wind doesn't want to blow.
Everything wants balance, peace,
and seeking peace has no peace.
If you understand this, does it
change something? Can you be peaceful
even where there is no peace?'
from Summers and Springs, Jaan Kaplinski

As a writer, I have a very poor relationship to poetry. This year, I have discovered this as a short coming. Not because tutors insist, and even recommend that when you write prose, you should be reading poetry; but because I've started to develop my own relationship with this language, English, in a way that every writer should. In the back of my mind, I guess there was always the awareness of how important language is to writers, but it wasn't until I had to chose to do my writing in English (long story, not to go into it now) that I realized this was a long term relationship.

Another little spark in my path to find poetry, was actually having to write one for my Writing and Health class. What started as a sand-under-the-skin activity, turned out to be the smack on the head I needed to reach out to a very big source of material for my writing, and also the theme of the poem, Home. 

Going through the process of writing poetry felt uncomfortable, to say the least. And I'm keeping that part of my writing private. But now I can see that I'm thirsty for poetry, not from a emo perspective - far from it, as this was the original reason I didn't want to get into it in the first place - but to see and make myself get used to another kind of writing. And most importantly, because of rhythm. I was acutely away, have always been - mom says my music teacher in kinder garden said I had 'a musical ear' - of rhythm, specially in playwrighting. Now I want to imprint all my pieces with as much rhythm as I can manage.

When I read poetry now, out loud to myself cause in silence it just feels weird, I find I was missing it, if that makes any sense. I remember my brother reading, this would be in Spanish back then, and enunciating, almost swaying with the rhythm of the language; and I remember myself thinking how well he did it, but how this wasn't for me. Now, without his talents for public speaking, I find myself trying to reach out to myself by reading out loud and remembering how he did it. Anyone up for a reading poetry session in the park?